Breakups are hard to do. Moving on is sometimes hard when you are invested in a relationship. There are countless articles, books and self-help mavens sharing wisdom on falling in love and how to attract the right partner. But what about when it is not right, how do you know when it is wrong?
Maybe the honeymoon stage is over and things feel heavy and hard now. Do you fight more than you actually play? These are things to think about.
If you are confused by the relationship and wondering if it is time to break up ask yourself these key questions first.
How often do you fight?
In a relationship you will always have difference. But how much of your time are you spending trying to defend those differences? If you fight and argue more than you don’t it is a good indicator that things are not right in the relationship. Of course there are stages to every relationship. You may have growing pains but if one person in the relationship grows and the other doesn’t this can cause a permanent strain on the relationship. If you fight a lot and you feel like you have to protect or defend yourself then consider the fights as a red flag.
How do you feel?
Relationships are supposed to uplift us, and make us feel joyful. Ask yourself how you feel in the relationship. If you are exhausted from fighting, or feel as if something is missing in your love life then listen to those feelings. Your emotions are an indicator of something much bigger going on. Allow yourself to feel those feelings and listen to them. Many times we ignore our feelings by eating over them, working over them, exercising over them.
Are you going in the same direction?
Think about what you really want and does this person fit into that view. Sometimes when we get into relationships it is the perfect timing for both people. But as we grow and change maybe one person shifts perspectives and wants to go back to school or change careers and this is out of alignment with the other persons view. Of course compromise is part of being in a relationship, but you must ask yourself if this type of compromise is what you are comfortable with. If you are fighting a lot and always feeling angry, sad or mad it is an indicator that maybe it is time to break up. When you do break up it is important to do it respectfully. You don’t need to tell the person all the reason you don’t want to be with them. Just smile and be polite. Be honest but sincere. If you are calling it quits you will want to make sure you have fresh breath and a clean clear smile. You can visit your dentist for a teeth cleaning.
For more health tips visit the doctors at TenderCare Dental, a Dentist in Gladstone, OR. Shannon Kaiser is a realtionship writer for the wellness community in Oregon.
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