Being in a marriage or a long-term relationship where you have been living with your partner for quite some time is not always sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. You will have your share of fights and disagreements, words will be said, parents and in-laws will annoy you and you will become more and more informal, to the point where the flame of romance dies down a bit.
However, sometimes that loving flame just flat out stops burning for one partner. If you feel your partner is growing cold, here are some signs that can confirm or deny your suspicions.
1. Avoiding Communication
Some people just can’t handle fights and tend to cease all communication to avoid a fight. Not talking when a fight is brewing is one thing, but if your partner constantly finds reasons not to sit and talk with you, or starts to pout and leaves at every little criticism then he/she might be losing interest in you.
2. Frequent Fights Over The Smallest Of Things
When someone keeps flying off the handle every time you want to talk seriously – and not just about important things like money or your relationship, but even about banal things like household chores, movies and ice cream flavors – it is a sign that they have lost respect for you.
3. They Get Annoyed With You Easily
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you get into fights all the time, but that your partner quickly becomes exasperated by your mere presence if you are in the same room for more than five minutes. They might sigh, frown and even say inconsiderate things that will eventually come up later in a fight. This is a clear sign of resentment.
4. Lack Of Sexual Desire
Sometimes people are just overworked, fatigued or don’t really have the time for sex and they expect their partner to understand this. However a good test is to organize a special night, buy a sexy costume, put on some romantic music and surprise your partner with mutual shower and a fun night. If your partner still feels disinterested it is time to start worrying.
5. They Spend Very Little Time With You
Once again I have to stress the point that people are often very busy, buried with responsibilities and stressed out so you should take that into consideration. That being said, even the busiest of people will be able to spend a few hours with their partner once or twice a week – if they are spending all their free time in the garage, playing video games or at the nail salon you should get a bit suspicious.
6. Major Unresolved Issues That Keep Coming Up In Conversations
Clinging to a particular issue in the past and bringing it up again and again every chance they get is a pretty bad sign. They might still love you, but they are feeling hurt, disrespected or betrayed and that tension can end your relationship.
7. Lack Of Interest For Your Day-To-Day Life
You can’t expect a long-term partner to behave like a hormonally charged, head-over-heals in love teenagerand cling to you and talk to you for hours on end, but you should be worried if they start showing a complete lack of interest in your life.
8. They Seldom Smile While They Are With You
When it comes to happiness and affection, a smile is a dead giveaway – you have to be a stone cold killer or a master poker player to keep a straight face when you are around someone who you love and who makes you happy. If you can’t remember the last time you saw them smile, things may be going downhill for you.
9. They Don’t Care If They Hurt You And Don’t Bother To Apologize
All couples fight and the longer you are together the more you know each other and thus have bigger rocks to throw at each other, so to speak. People will often say some pretty hateful things and sometimes they don’t even mean it – they just want to hurt your feelings because you hurt theirs. However if this happens a lot and they never really apologize for being mean and hateful, then you need to start worrying.
10. They Seem Like They Are Just Going Through The Motions
If they don’t say or do anything wrong, but they don’t even seem to do much at all, as if they don’t really care, but simply want to keep the status quo, you need to sit down and have a talk to see what is going on. Being disinterested and lethargic is a sign of depression – you need to determine what the actual cause of it is.
Go through these ten signs very carefully and try to determine if the reason for such behaviors can be something other than the lack of devotion on your partner’s part. Exhibiting a couple of signs can be normal in a long relationship, but if you partner shows more than four or five of them, or exhibits a couple of the big ones like number 8 or 9, then it is time to start thinking about breakup strategies.