No relationship is perfect all the time, that’s why it’s called the honeymoon period. But when you catch yourself thinking ‘why is this so hard’, then perhaps it’s time to question the reasons why you’re still together. Whether you’re often unhappy or you find yourself doubting your partner, there are a few things you should really stop and consider.
Are They Emotionally Distant?
Do you feel you have to work for their affection? If so then perhaps they’re not as into you as you thought. It may be that your partner is having a bad day or going through something difficult, the comfort of cohabitation and family support should help them work this through most of the time. However if every day is a bad day and they aren’t opening up and letting you into their problems then perhaps it’s time to move on.
Do They Make An Effort?
Do you feel you are met half way? What is the point in doing all the running if you are never sure it’s worth it. A relationship is about give and take, be careful not to let it all go one way. You will be left feeling unappreciated and resentful, two things that can ruin any relationship. Press the eject button and get outta there. This isn’t going to be good for you in the long run. Simply put, you deserve better.
Do Your Opinions Matter?
Do you feel you have to fight for your opinion to be recognised or for your voice to be heard? Move over for their ego because you’re getting in the way. Selfishness can be a pretty unattractive quality. If you’re feeling bulldozed and silenced then you need to consider whether this is healthy for you. A healthy relationship should support both partners equally, from spreading the load to listening to each other’s problems and points. Don’t accept that they own the limelight.
Are You Accepted?
Do their friends and family take you seriously? Are they known for having had many relationships or being a serial dater? Other people’s body language can tell you alot about a situation. If their parents or friends are stand-offish or cold it may be that they’ve seen this all before. How other people in your partner’s life treat you may tell you alot about your partner’s attitude towards your relationship.
What About The Future?
Do they avoid discussing the future or making plans? Having things to look forward to as a couple is a wonderful way to help your relationship grow, it also tells you alot about their thoughts to the future. If you find it difficult to tie your partner down to making a commitment or putting plans into place for your future together, then alarm bells should start to ring. This is your life, don’t be held back by someone who isn’t sure.
How’s The Sex?
Simply put if the sex is bad and there are no signs of improvement or effort being made then put those running shoes on and start walking. It may sound unfair, but sex truly is a barometer of any relationship. Being intimate and open with each other is vital for healthy communication. If you can’t communicate with your bodies then there’s an issue outside of the bedroom. No one expects the honeymoon period of sex to last, but if it is becoming an issue and your partner either won’t recognise it or refuses to discuss it then you may have to put your needs first, because quite simply you deserve better.
Accept the love you truly deserve, don’t put up with anything less. Relationships shouldn’t always be this hard and you shouldn’t always feel so unhappy. Establish your needs and boundaries and demand more for yourself because you are worth it.
As a freelancer, Irma is working with OnePlusOne.org.uk helpful pieces on relationships of families and couples whether they are married, living in cohabitation or freshly in love. There is nothing better than helping families and couples to strengthen their relationships.